Thursday, September 3, 2009

Ode to bagels

So I love bagels. I mean, truly lo-ove bagels. So round and soft and wonderful. No blog is complete without some photos, so here ya go.

And one of my favorite ways to eat a bagel: as a sandwich!
It may actually be an obsession. And I'm pretty sure it's not healthy, seeing as my waistline continues to grow. Do they make a 12 step program for bagel love? I've at least accomplished step 1, which is acknowledging there is a problem. I don't see myself getting any farther. It's sad really. I bust my butt working out each morning. Rather, Jillian Michaels busts my butt. She is one mean b!tch! But she gets the job done. And I always feel better afterwards, even if I do spend the majority of my workout cursing her name. But I digress. Yet, even with my continuous exercise, I don't seem to be losing any weight. On the plus side, I'm not gaining it either. So I guess that's good. But I want to LOSE! And so I grudgingly get myself up at 6:00 a.m. each morning and do my thing. Only to be disappointed when the scale never moves. Then this week I had an epiphany as I was chowing down on my morning bagel. Maybe this was the culprit? "But they taste soooo good," the devil on my shoulder was saying. And the angel rebuts, "but they aren't good FOR you." To which the devil counters, "but you NEED carbs after working out." You can see how this could go on and on for hours - which I'm pretty sure it did.

After my debate with myself, I came to the realization that I may never be able to give up my love for bagels. I love the look of bagels. The feel - when they are so fresh that they squeeze to the touch. The smell. Everything about a bagel I love. I don't think I've ever met a bagel that I DIDN'T like. Sure, there are particular flavors that I would prefer not to have, and definitely some flavors I can smell-out in a crowded room and make a bee-line for - sort of like a bloodhound tracks its target. I think I even let out a little howl once when I found the asiago I'd been seeking. But is there anything so wrong with loving bagels? Am I hurting anyone with my love? If not, then what is the big deal?! I just have to learn moderation. Everything is fine in moderation, right? RIGHT?!!! Have you ever seen a crack addict who is coming down off his high and needs more? Yah, me either. But I've been told it's a scary sight. Well, that is what I would be like if you take away my bagels. It won't be pretty. I promise. So let's just go with (a) I recognize there may be a problem and (b) I'll take into consideration the concept of moderation. (Except my cream cheese. I can NOT moderate my cream cheese. I love the stuff. But that's a post for another day).

On that note, I'll leave you with a little poem I wrote. I like to call it Ode to Bagels. Enjoy.

Bagels, oh bagels, how do I love thee? Let me count the ways.
I love thee to the debth, and breadth, and height
My soul can reach, when taking a bite.
For the softness and ideal taste,
I love thee for fulfilling my everday's
Most quiet need, by being in my belly.
I love thee untoasted, and topped with jelly;
I love thee toasted, and spread with smear.
I love thee from Publix or Panera,
For breakfast, lunch, or dinner.
Plain, sesame, or asiago,
There is no way for me to say no.
Lord, I ask you to grant me this one wish please,
That Heaven be filled with plenty of cream cheese.

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