My theory on why the baby-boomer generation produced, well, so many babies

I solved one of life's questions last night. How come women back in the '30s or '40s (just pick a decade) popped out kids like a toaster popping out bread? It wasn't because couples were more in love back then or because women had more time on their hands or because it was "the" thing to do. No, it all had to with bed size. That's right folks. Size DOES matter . . . . at least in this sense.

Back in those days, couples most likely had double or full-sized beds. I would go out on a limb to say that having a queen bed was a luxury that most couples could not afford. Well what happens when you are sleeping in a double or full-sized bed? You touch, that's what happens.

As I'm laying in my queen-sized bed last night trying to fall asleep, I'm realizing there is no way to move without touching Jeremy. He starts out almost on "my" side of the bed to begin with! What do you think will happen as he tosses and turns throughout the night? OF COURSE he's going to end up on my side. It's inevitable. And being that close produces more body heat, which you know what that means . . . that I'm sweltering under the covers. And he wonders why I have to sleep with the fan on even if it is 20 degrees outside! It's because I'm so blasted hot under the covers and with the combination of our body temperatures.

So this gets me to thinking. If I feel this cramped in a queen bed, imagine what my grandparents or great-grandparents felt in a double or full bed. Sardines, that's what. And when you are that close to begin with, well, then there's really only one thing to do. Procreate. Hell, I bet sometimes it even happened on accident because everyone is just SO close. And as the decades passed and people became more and more obsessed with size, we eventually became a nation where a queen bed is unacceptable. "WHAT?!? You don't have a KING bed?" And then you're denied membership to your country club or something. I know I've been there . . . having that discussion with friends, coworkers, family, whoever, and someone asks what "size" mine is. And I sheepishly bow my head and whisper: Queen. And then everyone shakes their head in disappointment. Well, if it hasn't happened to you, then either you're the person shaking your head in disappointment or you're lying to yourself!

And let's be honest, who wouldn't want a king bed? I know I do. I have "king-bed envy." I think it's an actual disease. All that room. You don't even have to touch if you don't want to. In fact, if you get a California King, you could be so far on the other side of the bed that you don't even notice when your spouse crawls into bed! You can roll over approximately 3 times and still not be on your spouse's side of the bed. Genius! Now I'm sure this may hurt in the procreation department, but all it means is that you have to make a little bit of effort. Now has effort ever really hurt anyone? Plus, with all that extra room, it may create some wonderful opportunities for experimentation! (Not that I know anything about that or anything - remember, I have a queen bed).

So now you know my theory. Now, let's have some fun!