SEC Survival Guide

I realized why I tend to get behind on this blog - I don't upload my photos on a regular basis. And I don't want to post until I have photos to go with the post. So sorry - I will try to handle myself better. So, for the aforementioned reason, I will continue to put off the post about the wonderful wedding I attended last weekend. So in order to keep everyone's attention until I do that, here is a great article about what Southerners like to call "the best conference in the Nation." And it truly is. Without further ado:

A survival guide to the SEC for outgoing Bucs coordinator Monte Kiffin

First thing, Monte, you're going to need a go-to story about the Bear. Everyone who coaches in the SEC has one.

If it involves football, that's good. If it involves drinking, that's better. If it involves generous portions of both, you're going to make some booster's head explode from the excitement.

The SEC is a Good Ol' Boys' league, after all. It doesn't matter that Paul Bryant has been dead for a quarter of a century, or that hounds-tooth hats have been out of style everyplace else for twice that long. If you want to coach in this conference, you're going to have to know all about Bear.

While you're at it, it wouldn't hurt to brush up on your stories about Herschel and Bo or Hacksaw and Snake or Archie and Peyton. Especially Archie and Peyton.

That's the thing to keep in mind, Monte, even as you and Lane set up that father-and-son football shop you've always dreamed of in Knoxville. The SEC is a different place. Frankly, there are towns where it even seems like a different time.

This is a league where a team nicknamed "the Tigers'' has a mascot that is an eagle, where a team nicknamed "the Crimson Tide'' has a mascot that is an elephant and a team nicknamed "the Volunteers'' has a mascot that is a dog. Don't ask. The answers just make your head hurt.

This is the league of "Punt, 'Bama, Punt'' and "Run, Lindsay, Run" and the ever popular "Rebound, Kentucky, Rebound."

This is the league where Ole Miss students yell "Hotty Toddy'' and Alabama students yell "Rammer Jammer'' and Auburn students yell "What do you mean we hired Gene Chizik?''

This is the league where you can travel on the Volunteer Navy (Tennessee) or the Cockaboose Railroad (South Carolina) or on top of Tim Tebow's shoulders (Florida).

This is a league of bad, bad music. At LSU, they play Eye of the Tiger. At Alabama, they play Sweet Home Alabama. Worst of all, in Tennessee, they play Rocky Top. You'll get tired of it after you hear it a thousand times. Just guessing, but that should get you halfway through next season's opener against Western Kentucky.

This is the league where victory is celebrated by ringing the Chapel Bell (Georgia), throwing toilet paper into the trees at Toomer's Corner (Auburn) or trying to talk Bobby Petrino out of leaving (Arkansas).

Most of all, Monte, this your home.

Welcome aboard.

Ah, don't fret, Kif. You'll do just fine. For one thing, 68 teams make it to the postseason. Just think: The Bucs would have clinched a bowl game by Nov. 2. And they would love Shreveport. Honestly, they would.

And remember all of those years you had to lobby for the defense to get the No. 1 draft pick? In college, a team gets all the No. 1 picks it wants. All it has to do is talk a guy into it.

Monte, I'll be honest. You aren't going to like recruiting. No one does. No one wants to drive to Upper Eyebrow, Ga., to convince a defensive back to wear orange instead of, say, red. But you'll be good at it. You'll walk into the room flashing that Super Bowl ring, and you'll mention Warren Sapp and Derrick Brooks and Ronde Barber and John Lynch, and before you know it, the players will start following you home.

And, yeah, class work can be a distraction. So can graduation. Think of it like this: Remember how frustrating rookie mistakes can be? In college, next year's rookies will be your most experienced players.

Then, of course, there are the boosters. You know, the guys with the orange hats and the checkerboard underoos. Yeah, those guys. Don't let on you know, but they think they are your boss. Some places, they are. (This just in. What Bobby Lowder said to Auburn athletic director Jay Jacobs was, "I want some Cheez-Its.'' Not Chizik. Oops.)

Of course, you've coached in college before, back when General Neyland was a sergeant. People forget that because you've been in the NFL so long. At N.C. State, though, they still remember the day you dressed up as the Lone Ranger and rode that white horse into the stadium. There was the time you jumped out of the helicopter (about 8 feet) and the time you volunteered to fight Joe Frazier (you touched gloves and left).

It was tough to win at N.C. State, however. At Tennessee, it won't be easy, either. But given the facilities, given the tradition, you have a shot.

The SEC likes to beat its chest about how tough it is, but there is reason for the swagger. Most years, it is pretty tough. Over the past 30 seasons, five SEC teams have won nine AP/UPI/BCS national titles. Who else can say that? Five of the league's coaches have won national titles.

Your job? You have to keep them all out of the end zone.

After all, you volunteered.

(Courtesty of: http://www.tampabay.com/sports/college/article940454.ece)

Complete disbelief

Check out this article: http://www.orlandosentinel.com/business/custom/thrifty/orl-budget10met08dec10,0,1524896.story?page=1

If you don't want to read it all, at least check out this suggestion on page 2:
Government operation $400M: Cut salaries of all state employees by 5%

I'm in utter shock honestly. I know that the state is in dire straights and I realize we have to cut budgets and all that. But I honestly can't believe they are even considering cutting state employees' salaries by 5%. That is a lot of money. Excuse my language, but WHAT THE FUCK ARE THEY THINKING??? Most agencies haven't given raises, bonuses, or even a freaking cost of living increase in 3 years. And now they want to REDUCE people's salaries? Most state workers barely make enough as it is. I know that for me to even GET CLOSE to what an attorney makes with the same level of of experience, I'd have to get a 14% RAISE. And no, that is not even to try and get close to what private attorneys make, that is just to get close to what I would be considered for if I transferred to another state job. Since I've been practicing for over 2 years, I would be considered for a Senior Attorney position - and the 14% increase would get me just at the LOWEST price point for senior attorneys. I'm sorry, I know it's the state and they don't treat their employees well, but I am flabergasted. I know I shouldn't be shocked by this, but I really just had some hope that they would treat us better. But I'm telling you, if they go forward with this salary cut, I could definitely see a lot of state employees finding other jobs. The benefits are not THAT great.

There are so many other programs that they could cut. For once I totally agree with something Senator Storms said: Instead of doing across the board budget cuts, look for programs that we created when we had the money but that are not truly necessary or needed right now. And get rid of those since we now don't have the money for them. That makes sense. And quit buying stuff..... this whole CSX contract really pisses me off. I mean, I'd love to have a commuter train in Florida (not that it would benefit any of us up here, but whatever), but is it an absolute necessity right now?? NO! It could wait until we have money in the budget again - or at least aren't considering cutting state employees' salaries. UGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I'm so frustrated and annoyed right now it's not even funny!

I'm not the only one...

In my previous post I commented that the SEC Championship Game was actually the REAL National Championship Game. Check out this blog. See? I'm not the only person who believes that the crystal football should have already been handed out.


http://deas.tuscaloosanews.com/default.asp?item=2297731

What a Shout-Out!

Back in October a wonderful thing happened. The Florida Supreme Court releasd its opinions (finally!) in two very important cases: Jews for Jesus, Inc. v. Rapp and Anderson v. Gannett Company, Inc. I had been waiting for these opinions patiently - and at times, not-so-patiently - for months. Seven months to be exact. You'd think that the highest court in the state would be more efficient.

But let's back up. Last summer, my interim project report at work was analyzing the cause of action for false light. It was a very intriguing piece if I do say so myself. Yes, I'm sure I'm the only one who would say so. Anyway, if anyone is interested in reading said piece, here ya go: http://www.flsenate.gov/data/Publications/2008/Senate/reports/interim_reports/pdf/2008-144ju.pdf After my report was finished, I attended the oral arguments for the two cases listed above...in March! Then I religiously checked the Supreme Court's website every Friday to see if an opinion was released. I was about to give up all hope of ever seeing the resolution to this issue when on October 23 I was greeted with great excitement: the opinions were posted!

Justice Pariente is one hell of a judge and I enjoyed her opinion immensely. Maybe it was because I felt along the same lines as her throughout writing my interim report. Or perhaps it is because she gave a shout-out to my report on the bottom of page 28 of the Rapp case. Seriously, check it out:

http://www.floridasupremecourt.org/decisions/2008/sc06-2491.pdf Remember, page 28. I realize my name never personally appears on the report or the opinion, but that matters not. I know I wrote the report. Everyone at work knows I wrote the report. And everyone I know knows I wrote the report. So I'm doing the happy dance:

Because I will take whatever recognition I can.

SEC Championship Weekend Photos

I wanted to supplement my previous post with photos, but figured the post was already long enough. So I am posting them here.

We shall start off with the most important photo of all: the dedicated Alabama fans!

Moving on to Laura and her roommate Jules. Even in a house divided, we can all get along. Notice something Jules and I have in common? Yah, Laura can't live without her redheads!

The Trolls, aka, my good friend Michele (the biggest Gator I know) and me, showing school pride:

And the Beasts, Jen and Laura, doing the same:

Now, moving on to the more incriminating photos of the weekend: Friday night wine tasting! What a fun evening!! We went over to Laura's friend's house (Kim) and the idea was everyone brings a bottle of wine and then you cover up the label so no one knows what they are tasting. They then rate the wines. Tons of fun... and total debauchery. I can't wait to try it at home!

The beginning of the evening. Before things went downhill.....

The girls loved to get silly!

And then the dancing began .......

Well, as you can see, a good time was had by all. And by some, a little TOO much of a good time! LOL

SEC Championship Adventure

With my beloved Alabama making it to the SEC Championship for the first time since 1999, I felt an obligation to try and go to the game. Unfortunately, tickets were unbelievably priced - with you know, this being the TRUE National Championship game (every Southern football fan knows it's true!). And as much as I love my team and wanted to go to the game I had trouble spending almost 2 car payments on a ticket. But I thought I would head to Atlanta anyway, stay with my good friend Sal, and we would try and scalp tickets the day of. Good plan right? For any other game it might have been. But not this one. Saturday morning we get ready: Sal and me in our Alabama attire and her roommate Jules in her Gator gear. Yes, we were a divided household. (Betsy, you remember being a divided household right?!). Anyway, after stopping off at Einstein's for some breakfast and then what seemed like forever of a ride on the Marta, we arrive downtown. We kindly asked some nice looking people if we could see their REAL tickets so we knew what we were on the prowl for. Thank goodness we did! There were SO many people selling fake tickets. And they just didn't get it when we were like "Nope, sorry, the hologram is wrong." We'd get a "Whatcha mean??" Anyway, those nice people saved us some cash! So we literally just walk around the block multiple times trying to find tickets. During this trek, we ran into some very literal "Jesus Freaks" who give all Christians a bad name. I can't even go into the craziness they were shouting. But needless to say, the cops had to get involved. Like I said, bad name. I mean, Jesus' whole message is to not judge others. But I won't get into scripture in this post. Moving on. When we found ligitimate tickets, they were still selling for $350 or more. I know my Northern friends are like "WTF?!? Why would you ever pay that for a ticket???" Well, like I said earlier, this was no ordinary game people. For all intensive purposes it WAS the National Championship. We Southerners take our football very, VERY, seriously.

Anyway, it's getting close to kickoff and still no tickets. At this point we are getting sad and frustrated. But like all good fans, we figure that prices have to go down after kickoff right? Right??? NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! Ten minutes after kickoff people were still selling their tickets for $400. I was in shock...and awe actually. And then, as quickly as they were there, all the scalpers were gone. And we were left on the sidewalk next to a very crowded bar wondering what to do. As we are making this decision, we barely see that Florida scores a TD from the bar TVs. Well this was not going to do. We had to find someplace to watch the game! So we head into the CNN Center. They have big TVs everywhere .... they MUST be playing the game, right? THEY WERE PLAYING FREAKING CNN!!!!!!!! Who the hell cares about CNN when you've got arguably the two best teams in the nation playing like 1,000 feet away??? I was literally in shock. This is something I would expect up North. But down here? In the South? It was blasphemy I tell you. Well luckily there was a nice little Mexican restaurant/bar inside the CNN Center and we pushed our way through and found an area by the bar behind these two very nice Florida fans and we had a perfect viewline of the TV. So it all worked out. As sad as I was to not make it inside the Dome, I still had very good seats for it on TV. And we had a blast....maybe a little too much fun. But what happens in Atlanta, shall stay in Atanta .....

Moving on to the game. I know, we lost. I'm very sad and a tad disappointed. But, in the grand scheme of things I can not be mad at my boys. I am VERY proud in fact. I will list my reasons below:

1. No one expected Alabama to be this good this year. Saban was still supposed to need at least 1, if not 2, more years to get Alabama up to this level.

2. We were undefeated in the regular season.

3. We made it to the SEC Championship Game.

4. We were ranked #1 in the BCS poll for 5 weeks in a row (before that we were #2 for 5 weeks in the AP Poll and BCS). We started the season barely in the top 25 - ranked #24.

5. Bitch all you want that we didn't play anyone good this year, but when we played and beat our opponents, several of them were ranked: Clemson #9; Georgia #3; LSU #16. Plus, let's not forget that we beat Ole Miss who turned out to be a very good team (Hell, they beat Florida!) and in general, no matter the rankings, you can never "expect" a win in the SEC. It's just too good of a conference. I mean, look at good ole' Vandy! To all of those ACC fans out there who like to point out that this year the ACC technically was a better conference than the SEC, I have one thing to tell you: No one cares how many times you beat Duke! One year means nothing. Go count how many National Championships the SEC has won and then come talk to me.

6. Even after the SEC loss, Alabama and Florida are on equal ground: both 1 loss teams. We lost to the AP ranked #2 team (BCS #4) in the SEC Championship Game - Florida lost to Ole Miss. Please, I do not want any Gator out there claiming they are "so much better" than Alabama. It just ain't so.

7. Shoulder-backing off of the last one, we barely lost to Florida. They did not come out and score 40+ points over us like every other team they've played. In fact, Alabama had it won until the 4th quarter. A few mistakes cost us - because Florida is a team you can't make mistakes on or they capitalize. But until then, they did not have us beat. In fact, in the SEC game Florida TRAILED for the first time since September 27. I'd say that's saying something for how Alabama played.

8. We held Florida to a field goal when they were in the 5 yard line. Has any other team done that this year? No. If Florida is within 10 yards of the goal line, they get a TD. But not against Alabama.

Ok, I guess I'm done. But I just want to reiterate the fact that Alabama kicked some major ass this year and I am proud.

Just one last thing: New Orleans, you better watch out, because the Tide is rolling in!

ROLL TIDE!

I'm a slacker - Iron Bowl 2008 recap

I know that my loyal, faithful fans are wondering why I never posted my thoughts on the Iron Bowl game. Well I'd like to say it's because I was coming up with a wonderfully funny, in-your-face post.... but sadly, no, I'm just a slacker.

However, now that I have a moment I would like to comment on that game. It was FREAKING spectacular! Say all you want about "6 in a row." WHATEVER! None of those wins were by more than 10 points and none were a shutout. Let's just face it, we whooped Auburn's ASS and I loved every second of it! Let's just look at some stats shall we:

1. It was the biggest win in 46 years. To be specific, it was the most "lopsided Iron Bowl since Bear Bryant's 1962 group won 38-0."


2. It was Alabama's first shutout of Auburn since 1992 (where we won 17-0).


3. It was the first time Alabama beat Auburn in Tuscaloosa (but in Bama's defense, they haven't played that many years in Tuscaloosa - six to be exact).


4. Auburn only had 170 total yards.


5. Auburn only had 8 first downs the entire game.


6. Auburn had 3 turnovers.

Shall we look at some photos now? Yes, I think that's a great idea!

Ouch! That's gonna leave a mark:

What an interesting position:

You gotta love Mount Cody:

Is that enough? Nah, I didn't think so either!!!

You must respect #8! What an amazing player.

Ingram was never even touched!

Who doesn't love Coffee??

Celebrate good times, come on!

Ok, I know, now I'm being obnoxious. But that's ok. Because I'm not nearly as obnoxious as this:

One of my nice Auburn friends sent me an email after the SEC Championship Game (which I shall discuss in a moment) that said "Go Gators. Gators are #1!" To which I sadly shook my head and thought "It's sad you needed to change your team alliance just to be able to claim a win over Alabama this year." But instead I wrote something else. Something that I would like to say to all of my Auburn friends - because I know they can handle it and our friendship can prevail:

"All I have to say is 36-0 baby!"